my 20th Birthday.. so 20-ish :)

We all know inside how excited we are when our birthday is near.. If u ask me, honestly, i wait for it like anything i mean with all due respect to independence day ... So tody i turn 20.. i wonder what plans life has for me .. i mean so far i feel the same but what if i wake up tomorrow and find a new change in me... (i don't think im making sense at all here ... so i will leave the philosophical statements and thoughts to philosophers or to people who have thy asthetic philosophical sense..:P)but i do want to live up to expectations turning 2o brings in me.. I ... want something better out of me as person.. i dont want to live like a senseless , aimless homosepian.. i am alive and i have thoughts to put in a better use...(now im feeling 20-ish) i guess with every birhtday for soemtime we become smart and realize what life is all about but then .. we go back to being just us.. there are no numbers and feelings with age and its numbers.. do you care if turning 21 yrs and 2 days old bring a change in your attitude or it makes people become more humble towards you .. or it makes your boss much more lenient and polite and easy going... then why care wether you are turning 20 or 30 the day u were born.. why not turn 30 or 15 when you want to be or when it is according to the situation. I guess for today my mind will ask alot of questions and i will face many confusions and maybe aging is a process in which one goes through such feelings... hmmmmmm i guess i have made myself more confused .. so i will take a break .. not from writing but thinking....

Play of my Life" ..directed by "ME"

wow ... i just got of the phone .. i was talking to a girl..who is amazing little person...lol its very rare ..may be once in Ur life that one bumps into some one who inspire you and yet they really don't know it... this girl...who is an amazing actress and a very good public speaker and a real good human being .. is actually afraid of accepting herself...strange Na.. but all of us do this ..we in our hearts knows who we really are ... what are our strength and weaknesses ..we know us...but we look in other people ...we believe that if we look in other people instead of mirror ..may be its gonna work..may be we will hear the voice that says"wow Ur really good in studies" or "wow u really know how to make good chicken"( as in dish) .. i realised while talkin to her that i don't need other people telling me what i am ..and what i am not.. i just realised i need me... but u know to say it and to accept is ..entirely different thing..and one point ..im scared ..im scared because i wont hear those good words or compliments ...I'm scared because I'll become snobbish once i realise my own strength..but then its good to scared right??? its the first step to success.. the girl I'm talking about is in all of us...so lets make us ..make like you and me a character... i think i should make my self some one i idealise ..may be like Oprah Winfrey and let my character in me ..work like her and then one day when I'm finally something as in a person who has her biggest goal achieved ..i can accept myself since I'm the director of my play of life.. some day for sure that girl will make a play on her own life and I'll proudly say..."i know her".. may be someday I'll sit on talk show just like Oprah's and my ppl would say "we know her"... by the end of the day.. I've learned something that has brought me one step closer to my dream..
I'm really happy .. and satisfied for now..
peace out..

The Stranger I knew...

Okayyyy.. well here is my first blog! I cant believe it ..LOL! neva thought I'd have "Blog Fright". it may look like an easy job but definitely ain't one.
Anyways, its my first attempt, i hope you would appreciate it and help me with your useful suggestions..
It is something that just happened with me quite recently. I was on my way to do my Radio Show which happens to Be lucky enough to go on air every Wednesday, 8 to 9pm, a time when most of the people are really busy.
As i was on my way to work (boy i for some reason i love sayin that!) I saw a woman sitting on a footpath (in our country a hot place for all the poor and needy people). there was something different about her, she wasn't looking all filthy and dirty or hopeless as most of the lot that sits near traffic signals does! She had an aura of, surprisingly... dignity and bravery. She wore a black dress with typical embroidery of flowers and suns and stars which tell a different story on different pieces of clothes they are made as if, as if they want people to know that they are not just patterns stitched from needle and thread, they are more than that, they are fighting for their identity as everyone else is surviving to be known.
Everything about her, even from quite a distance appealed me just as a beautiful flower appeals a proud butterfly. Curious and drawn to her like a magnet i started walking towards her.. i did not care about the humongous rush of the traffic or people including fruit vendors, bus drivers, conductors, beggars, pedestrians shouting or talking , i did not even bother to pay attention to those whose silence used to talk , mixing its silence with the sounds that were a part of everyday routine . sounds which made an environment that provided everyone a secure feeling of being together in a world in which often loved ones become strangers..
I kept walking towards her. The more i got nearer, the more my senses tried their level best to keep up with me. I got nearer and nearer and she seemed farther away . At last when my sore feet finally gave the signal to my brain that according to them they have reached their destination and my blurred vision started to get clear a little my eyes grew wide with shock. I knew her...I knew who she was ...
TBC...