my 20th Birthday.. so 20-ish :)

We all know inside how excited we are when our birthday is near.. If u ask me, honestly, i wait for it like anything i mean with all due respect to independence day ... So tody i turn 20.. i wonder what plans life has for me .. i mean so far i feel the same but what if i wake up tomorrow and find a new change in me... (i don't think im making sense at all here ... so i will leave the philosophical statements and thoughts to philosophers or to people who have thy asthetic philosophical sense..:P)but i do want to live up to expectations turning 2o brings in me.. I ... want something better out of me as person.. i dont want to live like a senseless , aimless homosepian.. i am alive and i have thoughts to put in a better use...(now im feeling 20-ish) i guess with every birhtday for soemtime we become smart and realize what life is all about but then .. we go back to being just us.. there are no numbers and feelings with age and its numbers.. do you care if turning 21 yrs and 2 days old bring a change in your attitude or it makes people become more humble towards you .. or it makes your boss much more lenient and polite and easy going... then why care wether you are turning 20 or 30 the day u were born.. why not turn 30 or 15 when you want to be or when it is according to the situation. I guess for today my mind will ask alot of questions and i will face many confusions and maybe aging is a process in which one goes through such feelings... hmmmmmm i guess i have made myself more confused .. so i will take a break .. not from writing but thinking....